To be honest, I'm exhausted all the time. Nursing every two to three hours takes a lot out of a person and it's unrealistic at this time for me to "sleep when the baby sleeps" because she only sleeps during the day when things need to get done. Like eating and showering and functioning in the real world (because that's when everyone else is awake). Anyway, my point is, at night I'm tired so it turns out that letting her sleep with us allows us all to get more sleep. I don't have to get up out of bed to nurse her, I just do it lying down. And she also cries her head off when she's not sleeping directly with people so we just all stay together to keep the peace. So that's my motivation to continue doing it for now.
However, I don't want to do it forever though because it's uncomfortable. I have to sleep more carefully so I don't roll over on her which means I'm crooking my neck and opening my eyes every couple minutes to make sure she's not accidentally suffocating in any of the bedding. So I'm not getting great sleep but it's more than if I were to wake up and get out of bed to nurse her elsewhere only to try to put her convince her to go back to sleep which causes her to wake up during the transition from my the elsewhere to her pack'n'play so she can start crying again. (Sorry for the run-on). Also, if Garrett and I want to cuddle or anything, she's between us so it's kinda cramping our style too. We just don't want our children to always be sleeping with us until they're teenagers, ya know?
Anyway, I've complained sufficiently for now I think. Does anyone have any advice on what to do? I'm not sure it will help in our particular situation but what have some of you done to solve this issue?
Funny side note: While writing this post Garrett was changing Kailyn's diaper on his lap. Bad idea... she peed on him! He totally looked like he peed his pants, only SHE peed his pants. Ah haha, I should have taken a picture.
Another side note: Tonight we went to Garrett's friend's house for a missionary's farewell party and Garrett went down to the basement to play a friend on the Wii. I think I asked what he was doing or something and here's what he said, "Do you want to watch while I rape Scott?" All of us in the room were a little thrown off and we started laughing. He tried to explain that he meant rape Scott at playing Wii, as in 'beat him at the game very badly'. But that's not how it came out. Ha.
K, I'm going to feed my child.
8 comments:
In my 2 1/2 years of being a mother, there is one thing I have learned: You are the mother and you are in charge. I listen too much to what "other people" say. Those "other people" could be friends, family, authors, you name it. It all comes down to one thing. YOU ARE THE MOTHER. I've spent way too much time trying to "impress" other people and it has frustrated me to death. You have been given an amazing gift to be in tune with what your child needs and what your personality can handle. For example. I would nurse Taylor in the middle of the night and he would end up sleeping with us most of the night. I only nursed him for 5 months. When he went to a bottle, I gave it to him in bed. I had him sleep on his stomach. Most of these things doctors and authors would squearm. Taylor has had many periods in his short life where sleeping was a big issue (for me, not him). He wouldn't be on a good schedule or wake up a lot during the night. When I get to the point where I don't know what to do, I usually ask people, review my books, or post a discussion board on the blog for advice. I usually take all that advice and form my own solution. I am confident you are an awesome mother. Kailyn is darling and Taylor loves her to death! Hang in there. Schedules will only get better as time goes on. I hope my own opinion doesn't frustrate you ;-).
First off, this exhaustion will NOT last forever. That advice helped me when I was sick and tired of being a baby feeding machine. I know that every baby is different but I have always heard that babies eat less during the night if they can't smell or see mom. They also wake up less without all the action of parents tossing and turning (and you will feel MUCH more rested if you can't hear every little noise she makes). It might be really hard at first but it is soooo worth it to have baby in a crib. I put up black-out curtains and I use white noise (I found a CD online and use a CD player- cheaper)in Brinley's room along with a nightlight and she has eventually learned that her crib means sleep. If you have a monitor you will get used to hearing her wake up and you can go get her to feed her before she starts crying. Do you have a recliner chair or glider? I would sit in a recliner in her room to nurse so I could fall asleep. I don't know if any of this helps, but good luck. Every week will get easier! (Sorry this was long!)
Oh, Kasey, I'm SO glad it's you and not me!
So, here's what I did. I can't sleep with the baby because I'm a super light sleeper. Actually, I took naps with my babies. However, at night I just woke up too much for no reason and I was already getting so little sleep. So, when the baby woke up I would scoop him up and go fall asleep nursing him on the couch. Really I slept a pretty good part of each night swaddled in a blanket with my baby on the couch.
I can totally see what your saying, though, about everyone sleeping better when they are together. One night in the hospital right after Andrew was born I was SO tired and Andrew would NOT go to sleep. Every time I put him in his basinet thingy he would wake up and nursing hurt really bad (I couldn't nurse laying down until my baby was at least a month old--with my first I never got that comfortable) so I needed a break.
Finally I called for help from the nurse who put Andrew and I to bed together. She swaddled Andrew and gently laid him next to me in the hospital bed--he could hear me breathing and knew I was near. He needed to sleep right by me. Fortunately, that need wore off a little by the time we got home so night time wasn't as hard.
I'm sure you will find what works best for you and your family. Good Luck.
It's interesting how different people think about things like sleeping and feeding babies. I really like what everyone has said, and it sounds like everyone has found something that worked for them. And what works for us probably won't work for everyone, and that's okay!
Lots of babies have a long period of sleep from, like, 6:00 to 9:00 a.m. Can you get a big chunk of sleep then, too? But, then, three-week-olds' sleep is unpredictable :)
From my experience, babies don't form "bad habits" that will "ruin" them for the rest of their lives. So, if a baby doesn't ever fall asleep on her own for the first months of her life, she's not ruined or spoiled. She won't learn to eat, walk, sit, soothe, or sleep on her own until she's older, so you're not ruining or spoiling her to do those things for her until she's ready. So that's my opinion on that: You're not doomed to sleep with your baby forever. If it works for you now to sleep with your baby, do it!
Historically, humans slept with their babies until they were pretty old. I bet Jesus didn't sleep in the manger -- I bet he slept next to his mother and nursed often. (Okay, that sounds cheesy, I know. But probably true.)
I also don't get very good sleep with babies in the bed. It's not very comfortable, and I can't just lay in whatever position I want. BUT -- at least I sleep!! We did that with Sophie and with the twins for a long time. And guess what: They sleep in their own beds now! (Okay, my recent blog post about their sleep might suggest otherwise, but really, they do!)
Also, I commend you for nursing at night!! Your body makes richer (fattier) and more (quantity) milk at night, because of a hormone called prolactin that is produced more at night. So, this is really good news for your milk supply, and for Kailyn's development. Most babies under 6 months nurse one or more times during night hours. There are exceptions, or course :) (Nod to Brinley!)
What we have learned over the years is to do what works until it doesn't work anymore, then change it. If it stops working, that doesn't mean that it was wrong. It just means that yours or your baby's needs changed. And that sounds like what your plan is: Sleep with the baby for now, but not forever.
As far as you waking up a lot worrying about her safety, it might help to read some information about co-sleeping:
http://www.llli.org/NB/NBNovDec07p244.html
Okay, that's my diatribe for the moment. Good luck and sweet dreams!
Oh the joys of being a parent and trying to figure everything out is so great.
I am a firm believer in getting your baby on a schedule. Make the schedule fit your family schedule. However, you still need to listen to your baby's needs because needs often change.
I worked with Grant to make sure that he understood that day time is day time and night time is night time. He would always fall asleep nursing weather it be at night or during the day. If it was during the day I would then change his diaper to get him to wake up so he had some awake time rather than just fall back asleep. It really helped because then when night came he was adjusted and would go right back to sleep after a feeding. He soon got used to the schedule and started to be up at longer periods during the day which in turn lead to more sleep at night.
Good luck and figure out what works best for you. As long as your baby is happy and clean you are being a great mother.
Hey, congrats on the little girl! she is so cute! Well I have 2 girls now, Emma is almost 4 and cali just turned 1! Time flies. I did not nurse my girls so that help a little with the sleeping(someone else could make and feed the baby!)Cali did sleep in the bed with us for a couple of months and then she started falling a sleep in her bed. she would still get up early and then just go back to sleep with us in our bed. But it gets to a point when you just have to put her in her bed and let her cry a little until she falls asleep(around 6 months old when she should not be getting up alot to eat). She will learn and you will get the hang of it more as time goes by. hope this helps a little, its hard writting advice i do better talking!let me know if their is any other questions.
Well, it sounds like you already got a lot of advice but I'll put in my two cents anyway. It really does just depend on the child. My first was terrible..cried all the time...was awake all the time, so i slept with him and he was better. I honestly don't see how i could have done things differently the first time around. I think I was more high strung with the first too...i had no clue what i was doing. When Jordan came along..i already knew what not to do and i went about everything in a much calmer way..and he is a much more calm child than Luke. Again, this could be bc he is just naturally that way...who knows. Anyway, my advice is to move a crib or bassinet next to your bed..try to get kailyn to use a binky to fall asleep and not your breast. For instance, feed her and before she falls asleep on the breast, put the binky in and lay her down. Next, try to feed her more during the day especially right before bedtime. Feed her every hour for three hours or so before bed. (make sure her bedtime is also your bedtime) That should give you a longer stretch of sleep. Good Luck, and remember that at least Kailyn is healthy and strong and if she doesn't sleep for a while, it's okay...she will eventually and then you can too!
I dont know if this is late or not but i just read your blog and i want to recommend a book to you called "healthy sleep habits, happy baby" I have found this book really helps out with Easton's sleeping. I do not follow it like its my baby bible but it has some really good ideas and insight!
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